Pros & Cons of Having Kids in Your Wedding

It seems like most couples are firmly rooted on their position about having or not having kids in their weddings. While some brides can’t imagine a wedding without a ring bearer or flower girl, having kids in a wedding is not for everyone. For those of you who may be undecided, take a look at my pros and cons list below to make sure you are thinking through both sides of the argument.

Pros of Having Kids in Your Wedding:

  • For couples with nieces or nephews, having them in your wedding creates amazing memories for the entire family. I was a flower girl a time or two in my aunts’ weddings, and although I only vaguely remember the experience, there are some photos of me in a little white dress to prove it!
  • For traditional brides, having kids in your wedding allows you to fill the ring bearer and flower girl roles. Of course, you don’t have to have these elements of your wedding party, but couples that are traditionalists will see no other way.
  • Kids can be so stinkin’ cute! Some of my absolute favorite photos from weddings involve kids. Check out these images captured by Helmut Walker Photography and Tim Watson Photography of some Hitched Events.

Cons of Having Kids in Your Wedding:

  • Let’s be honest… kids can be unpredictable. Even the most outgoing child can decide they’re too shy to be in the spotlight on wedding day, or the most well-behaved kid can have an unexpected freak out. The thing is… they’re kids. You just never know what a five or six-year-old is going to do (or not do) on the wedding day.
  • As silly as it might sound, kids can often become the center of attention on what is supposed to be the couple’s big day. An adorable flower girl with a short attention span doing pirouettes during the ceremony is sure to get more attention from your guests than the ring exchange. All eyes should be on the bride and groom, but if one of the kids in your wedding is distracting, you can guess what your guests will remember.
  • Adding children to your wedding adds to the overall event expense – ring bearer pillow, flower girl basket, an extra boutonniere, flower petals for tossing. Although these costs are minimal, if you’re on an extremely tight budget, these additional costs can add up.

If you do decide to have children in your wedding, maximize their chance for success on the wedding day by keeping their six-year-old needs in mind. Do they need a nap? A kid-friendly snack?  Thinking through things like the time they get ready and how long they must be around for photographs will help ensure they are at their best. Tired and hungry kids are often whiny, having a melt-down kids.

So, what do you think? Are you on the kids or the no kids side of things?


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  • PaigeJune 3, 2013 - 8:24 am

    When I get married I’m not entirely sure if I want kida or not. I want a cute little vintage wedding, so kids having roles in the wedding would be adorable. And speaker from a photographers point of view, they make the most adorable photos when they don’t notice! The only thing is, I don’t want everyone else’s kids running around mad at the reception or babies crying during the ceremony. And I can’t very well send the kids who are playing a part home as soon as the ceremony and photos are finished. Hmm…. Well I have a while to decide as my actual day won’t be for another few years.ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly | Hitched EventsJune 3, 2013 - 8:48 am

    Kids DO make for some adorable photos! But, you’re right… they can also be quite distracting during the wedding or reception. Come back and let us know what you decide when the time comes!ReplyCancel

  • KathyJune 27, 2013 - 1:59 pm

    My daughter is getting married next summer and there will be children in the ceremony and as guests with their parents. I plan to have a room set aside for the children with toys and activities indoors and out with a sitter hired to watch them and entertain them. They will also sit here for dinner if their parents wish.ReplyCancel

  • Kimberly | Hitched EventsJune 27, 2013 - 3:43 pm

    Kathy, I think that’s perfect! We’ve done separate kids rooms a couple of times and it’s been a big hit!ReplyCancel

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